George, a 55 year old business executive, divorced for two years, has been dating two women he met on an Internet matchmaking service. The two new associations were in varying stages of development and George was enjoying the experience of "comparison shopping" before deciding which one of the two would, hopefully, become his "one and only" and, perhaps, eventually, his second wife.

One of the interesting things I have observed in my counseling and psychotherapy practice is the way in which some people justify or validate their fears and, therefore, defeat their efforts to make some of the changes they entered therapy to achieve.

The following is an example of an exchange between two people -frequently a married couple in a counseling session - that often leads to a troubled stalemate or, worse, intensified frustration and greater conflict.

One of the things I have learned in the course of my years providing counseling and psychotherapy is the importance of listening. Some believe ‘just listening’ to be too passive and, therefore, perhaps, not sufficiently helpful. Others appreciate the value and helpfulness of simply having an opportunity to talk about something and feel well heard and understood by a good listener.