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A few years ago, I submitted an article to The New York Resident, a free weekly newspaper in New York City that very much resembled the popular and nationally distributed New York Magazine. That first article entitled, “Think Better, Change Better” was well received by the features editor who encouraged additional submissions from me. It was a challenge! My mandate was to write articles that would appeal to a varied and diverse readership that would discuss important topics or concepts with, hopefully, some recommendations or advice to the reader, and that would never exceed 500 words! This led to a series of twelve published articles – all of which are included in this section. The editors re-titled two of my articles while leaving the others alone. “Snatching Defeat” was originally titled, “Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory.” “Dead Flowers,” a title I still don’t understand, was originally titled, “Whose Intimacy Is It?”

Another article in this section, “How Could They Have Said That?” was published by the same newspaper in 1996 and became a much circulated guide for people struggling to ‘say the right thing’ to those suffering the effects of negative or traumatic events in their lives.

I hope that you will enjoy and benefit from these articles as well as the many others in the Resources section of my website.



Why Am I Shy?

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Handling Social Anxiety

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt,” is a saying attributed to Abraham Lincoln. This appears to be the negative belief of people who become very nervous in social situations and are convinced that they will say something foolish, thereby justifying their feelings of social ineptitude.

 

Saying "No" and Accepting "No"

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Learning To Be Firm

Many people find it very difficult to say “no” or to accept someone’s saying “no” to them without experiencing negative emotions. As a result, they often say “yes” when they really mean the opposite, which leads to consequences like anger and resentment directed toward themselves and others. A young client of mine who said “yes” to six suitors who asked her to the high school senior prom is a memorable example.

 

How Not to Feel Sorry for Yourself

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Marsha was someone who believed that one of the main purposes and benefits of her friendships was to have people with whom to share her troubles and get sympathy.

 
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Richard B Joelson DSW
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New York, NY 10128
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